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Friday, July 08, 2005

No Deep Thoughts

Well. No deep thoughts from me today, although at the beginning of the day i thought they would come -- but then life overtook me and i have had a shitty day. It is one of those days where i am appalled with my kids and i look at them and what they are doing and i feel that eveything i have done is for naught. Things were so thin that i was desperate for our habitual afternoon privacy time. Then Zion (2 1/2) came down, just as i was sinking into the couch to relax with "Mama, I NEED you." Oh Lord, give me strength. i did pretty well hiding my irritation and i made it upstairs to lay on her bed with her. Soon i felt the rest coming to me. i wondered if i should just take a nap with her. Zion was sing-songing to herself a conversation... "Z - o - n... no it's Z - o - n... not Z - o - n..."; arguing with an imaginary friend. It was so happy and silly and light that my heart lifted. On crabby Mommy day this little one still has love and lightness around her. I felt held beyond myself.

2 Comments:

At 5:27 PM, Blogger gloria said...

I can so identify with thinking deep thoughts would come but instead finding the day turn out shitty. I loved that you used the word "shitty". Shitty, shitty, shitty - sometimes bad words make me so happy!

 
At 8:18 PM, Blogger Tonya said...

Thank you so much for being real. I have days like that with my children all the time...and people think I have it all together! Ha. But, every time I stop in the middle of it, Who do I find? Yep, He's always RIGHT THERE.

 

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