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Monday, July 25, 2005

Choking...

More clarification on my last blog... it's not so much how often, it is more like fear. I have things well up in my heart and then they all shove into the bottle neck of writing and I choke... and I find myself self-conscious of what everyone will think of "this" or "that". I worry about leaving comments and if the person will understand my heart...
and (I admit it!!!) I want to know what they think of my comments I leave (sometimes).
That kind of stuff.

I have also found it hard to stay present here at home. My thoughts are constantly wandering to whether or not I have comments, who has new blogs... I need to find the balance here.

I think there is a nagging fear that if I do not "keep up" then people will leave me behind.

I wanted to plop this all out here to break the shame and silence to try to be free to have FUN here again.

Thanks for your responses.

2 Comments:

At 7:18 AM, Blogger Grandma and Grandpa Benson said...

. . . makes sense to me . . . we love a God who cares enough to respond . . .

. . . may you hear Him in EVERY place today . . . EVERY where you go . . .

. . . go Jaime . . . go and come back . . . so you can tell me . . .

 
At 8:15 AM, Blogger gloria said...

Were you surprised by the "real" relationship feelings concerning blog world? I know that I was. I am constantly cycling back to feeling of fear (of rejection, vulnerability, honesty), excitement, joy, hope, support, love, hurt.
You are one of us. You are welcome here.

 

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